"...your writing lacks the
degree of emotional punch
we need for this line..."
This is one of the most common reasons editors
give when they reject manuscripts. Unfortunately, it's not an easy problem to
solve, because to a certain extent, the emotional quality of writing depends
on the writer's personality.
For some people, emotions are always bubbling close to the surface and
feelings pour out easily when they write, but if this doesn't happen for you,
don't give up. There are some practical approaches that might help you to pin
down this elusive quality.
Let's start by analysing the term "emotional punch". It's tempting to
concentrate on the first word and to think that if you've included plenty of
beautifully described feelings you're on the right track. But think for a
moment about the other word - the "punch" factor.